The Best Jody Since Jodie Sweeten

Hello, good friends. Hello.
I was going to post the second installment of my Gene Kirby piece, and I may yet. He's not going anywhere. What I am going to do is give you guys a list. I love lists. Lord knows I have listed more than a thing or two in my life. One day I'll write 'em all down. For now, though, here is a list catch of phrases I'd be known and loved for if I had me a TV show. Speaking of which, remember when cable television was expanding and we'd all thought eventually everyone would have their own TV show, then it turned out to just be the internet and blogs? What a fucking let down.

If I Had Me A TV Show My Catch Phrase Would Be:

This'll cure the homos!

Well, if they could post the goddamn schedule with some kind of consistency I could plan ahead once in a while.

Milkshake, baby!

Things got frothy.

Smells like Rio to me.

Watch out for snakes!

In it or through it, watch out, my fist's a comin'!

Could you hand me that?

I'm sorry, I missed that last thing you said.

Now that was better than a pap smear.

I don't care how free it is, I'm not going.

I want it like Kid's from Kid'n'Play.