The Dead Are Trying My Patience

The Dead Are Trying My Patience
my review of Land Of The Dead

George A. Romero’s twilight opus, Land Of The Dead, is a subtle allegory on the current situation involving the Middle East. It revolves around a simple gas station attendant, which could be discerned as Iraq, but with a minority face that one could relate to and still be patriotic; he’s a black man who longs to understand this new world around him and his lot in it. The setting is a small, quiet neighborhood populated by other content to be simple folk that is quickly interrupted by well armed white men who’ve come to raid their resources for a near by city of glutton, paranoia, and vice. The invading city then sells this booty to it’s people at an over inflated price just so that they can maintain the consumer lives they were accustomed to since before the “unpleasantness” happened. The black gas station attendant, who is not given a name, then proceeds to lead his people to overthrow the corrupt powers that be.

Meanwhile two enforcement officials in charge of said raid are also at odds with how things are working and where they fit in. The first we see questioning his motives is Cholo (John Leguizamo), an Hispanic smack talker, who believed that what he was doing was earning him a position amongst the social elite, that he was working for a greater good for himself and his comrades. Once denied his piece of the pie by the very lord, Mr. Kaufman played by a confused Dennis Hopper, he was trying to keep in power and thusly restricted from movin’ on up said Hispanic steals his governments most dangerous weapon and holds the city ransom.

Enter the star of the film, Some Whiteguy, played by some white guy. Just kidding the hero’s name is Riley and he’s played by Simon Baker who actually is just a white guy on and off screen. He’s called in to both thwart Cholo and squash the simple gas station attendant’s uprising when all he really wants to do is go to Canada and be left alone. What ensues is some of the most clever and engaging dialogue and character interaction mixed with elaborate and truly believable action on epic set pieces the silver screen has ever seen.

Psych! That’s not what it’s about. Well, in a way it is. There are references to the War, but, really; really, really it’s an unimpressive zombie flick. That black gas station attendant is a zombie, he’s dead. The movie’s premise is that Romero’s earlier movies are true and in real time. We now live in an alternate present where zombies have proliferated until there are only a few cities in the world that are safe and secure anymore. The living raid towns overrun by the walking dead for food and medical supplies. That is until the station attendant figures out that with just a few vague grunts he can lead other undead to sack a corrupt (which I assume has to be coincidental) city and feed on the non-dead’s flesh. John Leguizamo lends the only perceivable personality to the film, and his character is only there to steal the city’s super weapon, an A-Team rigged RV that shoots pretty fireworks. That’s not a joke. Sadly, he even out acts Dennis Hopper who is basically some crotchety lord what hides out in a tower. The rest of the cast it just a hodge-podge of stereotypical characters, which is pretty much typical of horror and most other mainstream genres.

On that point: It should be noted since so much regard is paid to Romero’s move to have a black man in the lead in the original Night Of The Living Dead at a time when that was more than a big deal, that the two most prominent black men in the movie are one: the “leader” gas station attendant zombie whose first order of business once new found cognition sets in is to pick up a gun and start ending innocent lives. The second is Mr. Kaufman’s man-servant. Yep, man-servant, even dressed as a maitre d’ in a white jacket and black bow tie. Though he is not killed, or at least we don’t see it, he does run off “Amos and Andy” style from his master at the threat of boogins overtaking the two.

As for Riley, our hero, like I said, all he really wants is to go to Canada, suck down some Molson and tell ‘em all to go to hell. There’s even a moment where he has the chance to take out some zombies and to do so would save many innocent lives, but, instead, and this where the movie finds it’s heart, looks in the eyes of the mindless dead and tells his squad of rogues to back down and do nothing, because “They’re looking for a place to go, same as us.”

Despite some pretty good special effects and plenty of gore, ultimately the movie blends in with the rest of the overcrowded and run of the mill of the genre Romero helped to create. The biggest problem is Romero doesn’t know how to top himself. Already the idea of dead walking requires so much suspension of disbelief that to ask someone to go along with zombies organizing and rebelling using tactical goals to overcome a corrupt system is asking too much. And because why? So they and their zombie children have a safe place to play and meander? Were the movie longer would they eventually build schools and stores, houses of worship? Would they begin producing artists and standup comedians whose biting social commentary tell how it is from the undead perspective (now normal livin’ folks walk like dis, while us zombies be walkin’ dis way)? Would that gas station attendant have lead his “people” to the steps of the Lincoln Memorial and give what would be his famous “I have a Zombie dream” speech?

Assumedly, the whole idea of making stupid zombies less stupid would be to create a better platform to terrorize movie goers, yet throughout the film we are positioned to sympathize with the flesh eating monsters. It’s as though the audience is supposed to look on with stern face and quiet tears and reason why we can’t just let them feed off human flesh in peace. It’s what I want for my children.

In short I didn’t like the movie. Be that as it may there is one redeeming quality and it is very subtle and doesn’t involve Iraq, nor does it make better the movie. Actually, I’ve already stated why it made the movie bad. And though it didn’t make me like the movie one iota better it did make me respect the creator. George A. Romero gave birth and life to the zombie flick. Zombies are what made him and why we horror lovers revere him. If he sees fit in his golden years to pay a little of that reverence back to his creation by giving the dead a soul, a flicker of light behind their eyes to look back in his, well, what can I say, but, more power to him. I just hope he doesn’t make another one.

This is Jody Thrill and I’ll see you at the movies.

That name is only funny if you know my middle name is Hill, and even then its pushing it.